I am a Yankees fan. As the fall classic begins tonight, I will watch the game with memories of my late wife. We connected on a series of things but one was our joint fandom over the Yankees. I would never consider myself a rabid fan, but my interest grew when my late wife expressed her Yankee fandom. Even when she was sick the connection we shared by reminiscing about our trip to Yankee stadium was significant. With her passing, I try to watch the Yankees as a way to keep her memory alive. Taking her to Yankee stadium was one of the highlights of my life. She wiped tears away from her eyes as we walked in.
One of the interesting by-products of her illness was the opportunity to teach my daughter the game of baseball. The rivalry (Boston Sucks) and the history of a game that is 149 years old. She is a Yankees fan because she has to be. Teaching her the subtleties of the great game has been both fascinating and exhausting. Lots of questions but now she wants to know how Judge did last night and if Jazz had any stolen bases. Yesterday I read a biography of Lou Gehrig. He is a hero of mine and while his life was cut short at 37 his impact remains. My late wife had grace even at the end when nothing was graceful. The one thing that was said about Gehrig is that he was nice. He had grace. With all his baseball skill, the picture painted of him was that he was nice and kind. Lou Gehrig was graceful.
That sparked an interesting rabbit trail for me to explore in our divisive times. I have experienced two other men who were graceful. They embodied kindness and warmth. Welcoming and kind in all things they were members of the greatest generation. Both men had gone to war, both men had experienced the depression, both men were familiar with hard times and hard losses. But even when they held the upper-hand in all kinds of situations, they engaged others with grace and kindness. I thought how incredible it would be if our politicians, sports heroes and leaders in general were graceful. Not crass or mean spirited. The type of men I am describing don’t abuse others but rather they try to lend a lifting hand. They choose to say a kind word to a fan or inspire someone to be better not worse and they would never intentionally hurt someone. Graceful men believe in the expansive view of human kindness.
Gehrig considered himself the luckiest man in the world while an awful disease stripped him of everything. No bitterness or anger or resentment. He lived gracefully and died gracefully spending his last days trying to help parolees turn their lives around. My late wife was graceful choosing to be grateful even when it appeared she had nothing to be grateful for. They both refrained from being the loudest choosing to be the last instead of first. My grandfather in laws lived their lives gracefully and treated people gracefully.
As the World Series starts tonight, I will be on the lookout for graceful things remembering my extraordinarily graceful wife.
Albert R. Hartley