We have been enjoying the subtle weather that lulls us into thinking we live in a muted environment. However, the savage of summer will sneak up on us in the alleys of our contentment to smack us over the head with humidity soon enough. I always think that people visit here in March and April to conclude this weather is so mild how can these natives be so ungrateful of such a great environment. I laugh waiting for the humidity of June to hammer them back north. I say, go back! Go back and leave us to our sweating and complaining like the native stalwarts of old. A true southerner embraces the sticky dew of midnights without any hope of relief with the stiff upper lip of our old English cousins.
Visit here during spring break at your own risk only to be enticed by the brisk mornings and clear nights where sweaters are donned to keep off the chilly breezes. Those interlopers from other areas complain of snow and frigid winters assuming that the temperate sirens calling them south of the Mason Dixon will remain throughout the year. Then without warning the suffocating humidity wraps its clammy hands of summer around our necks choking the visitors and welcoming the natives. We are not opposed to refugees settling from the north, but we warn you that visiting here in March and April is a ruse. Don’t assume that the best dressed person dating you in April is the same person you are looking at when the masks get dropped in June in the early morning blast of warmth. Change your clothes often as they will be damp with sweat immediately after stepping outside. Laughing, the locals know relief is nowhere in sight so we hope the AC works, the fans are on and the iced tea is cold.
Summer is coming.
Albert R. Hartley
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