In the February newsletter I shared that my life partner had decided to end treatment. I asked the universe to bring it on regardless of what that meant. Last Friday morning she took her last breath and finished a battle with a disease that she fought courageously. The week was brutal and painful for her. I was struck by the difficulty of her death while seeking the romanticism often seen in movies that I could not find. Hospice finished their duties, and the funeral home delicately removed her body. Shutting the front door as the hearse drove away closed a chapter of my life without fanfare or ceremony. From the heights of anticipation to a deafening silence the end was upon me in a few short hours.
So, I am back in my routine drinking coffee writing this newsletter. I soldier on comforted by the fact that she is at peace and no longer suffering. That is the only solace I can glean from the last two weeks. I would like to say that I found some sublime truth some epiphany that her death uncovered for me. I would like to say that I found a truth uncovered by the long nights and agony that I could share with you. Unfortunately, the only principle that I can fully express is that cancer is awful. I would like to peddle in the profound but this morning words fail.
Albert R. Hartley